ANGER MANAGEMENT

It’s a sad indictment of the world we live in that everywhere we turn there is anger and violence.

It’s on the TV; on the news and in programmes from cooks to Spooks. I get so angry about the state of the world I often scream at the television set as if that is going to make things better. Without doubt I have anger management issues and this is fruitless and useless. I guess that about sums up rage.

Road Rage is everywhere. I tried to overtake a guy who sped up as I drew level with him. How crazy is that? And I’ve tried to change lanes in the Big Smoke after indicating well in advance only to be cut off by a freak peep that wanted into my lane in the first place but wouldn’t give ground. I’m so afraid to get broad-sided that I won’t barge in and although it would be so easy to slow down a tad and filter it seems that some dipsticks can’t show common courtesy. Why is that? Is it the fact that many peeps feel powerful when behind the wheel of a car? Perhaps that’s the only place they feel they have control.

Youngsters were throwing stones at passing cars on Halloween night and hit the side window of a car with a toddler in it. Luckily the window didn’t smash. Although the parents were enraged that their child was put in danger they didn’t stop, jump out and give the culprits a good smack. Why not I hear you ask? Because peeps, they would be arrested and charged with assault. It makes me angry that the parents of the stone throwers bring their kids up to think that kind of behaviour is acceptable. Or that the parents in question didn’t bother to check up on their kids to see what they were doing. And the police can’t really do anything about it so what’s the point in calling them?

The Christmas shopping bonanza is about to begin. Now there is a fighting match only rivalled by the January sales. Have you experienced the hunt for a parking space at the supermarket in the run up to Christmas? They become war zones. It scares the life out of me the way drivers turn into demons and are prepared to prang each other’s vehicles in order to acquire a parking space. If you are waiting for a space, even with your indicator on, do not drive past the space in order to reverse into it … believe me … some nasty piece of work will drive in and snap it up leaving you gobsmacked but helpless.

If Christmas puddings are in short supply I fear for us all … well, except for myself of course because I hate bloody fruit cakes and puddings.

I wonder just how much of the tonnes of food we buy for Christmas actually gets eaten.

Is all that hustle, bustle and butting of trolleys worth it? I know Christmas is a time of celebration and worship. But aren’t we worshipping excess instead of embracing the spirit of the season?   

I’ve already tried to bite a woman in the Tower Centre in Ballymena because she thought I wasn’t pressing the elevator button which I repeatedly did but it was broken. She was unreasonably cross with me. I reacted by saying she was failing to notice I was laden with shopping bags and couldn’t set them down in the wet but I would press the button with my chin if that would satisfy her. I really wanted to head-butt her but the shopping bags were a bit of a hindrance.

What are we going to do about our anger management issues? And why are we angry in the first place? I wish I knew. I wish it would stop and we could all pull together. I think we all want that. If not … BITE ME!