Friday, 25 May 2012

SPOT THE IDIOT

<> SPOT THE IDIOT<>
Yours truly madly has done it yet again. A couple of friends had booked and paid for an Ulsterbus Tour and Dizzle Dazzle asked me to take Anne's place when she couldn't go. Wee Hee. (Sorry Anne, hope you feel better soon). Day 1 Sunday 20th May: Book into Days Hotel Belfast. First treat was a sightseeing tour of the City. Free time for the rest of the day. We had a delicious meal in the hotel. Brilliant service in a lovely bright dining room/restaurant. I thoroughly recommend it.

Dizzy Dazzle and I were in room 110 and the view was so good for a city centre hotel that we kept the curtains open. I went out and got a Pizza at Little Italy which is down the side of The Crown. It's a hop and skip away. DD and I talked into the wee small hours while munching a Bella Bella washed down with vino. How we faced it after Dexter Burgers, chips and Baileys cheesecake is a mystery ... Burp!

After the buffet breakfast we were off to stroke city on the most comfortable coach driven by the very entertaining Ed. Boys a dear can he handle that beast.

Our Wall Guide, John McNulty, was waiting for us at the information centre. He is not only very knowledgeable but very entertaining as well. In other words great criac. Martin Crossan Tours costs £4 per person with free tea or coffee plus refills at the end. They are arguably the best tour company. The cafe does really hearty, reasonably priced homemade fare so it is a good pit stop. I can't believe I live on the doorstep and that's the first time a walked the walls and heard the history firsthand.

After a quick look roon the shops we were off again to the Causeway via Portstewart and Bushmills. We all agree that there is no way they are gonna get that visitor centre ready on schedule. It looks awesome and will be more so when complete. Whenever that is.

Off again around the Glens of Antrim. We could not have asked for a better day. The views throughout our trip; breathtaking. We don't know how well off we are to live in such a beautiful place in the world.

It was a very hot day as you know. Numptynuts was wearing her Whooga, sheepkin lined swede boots as it was not that nice when I left home. I started feeling hot and bothered and we had run out of water. So when we stopped for a comfort break at Carnlough I hopped off and went to get some. Next thing I know I'm on the floor with an oxygen mask on and I'm wired up to an ECG machine. Whisked off to Antrim Area Hospital by really professional and caring Paramedics. Thanks Dougie and Co.

A&E was a nightmare. There were stretchers coming in steady and the staff were run ragged ... Literally moving at speed from patient to patient. They have my admiration. I could not do it. Some "ill" freaks fought the staff and made a real nuisance of themselves. One dipstick had to be removed. A&E need bouncers it's that bad and that was a Monday evening. What must it be like on Friday/Saturday nights?

Dizzy Dazzle took the p***s out of me and made me lol. She is bad to the bone. I eventually convinced her to go back to the hotel when I was told I was being admitted. DD thought a padded cell would be in order. It's all her fault. She took a tumble it Malta. It was bad and I feel sorry. Thing is ... She has been jinxing her girlfiends ever since the nut. Thanks for coming with me and staying with me and tormenting me and making laugh. Even if I had to hold my head.

I got the best of attention and an MOT. Every cloud has a silver lining and my room mates Peggy and Edith and I made the best of being bedridden. Laughter in the face of adversity is what the Irish do best. Those two rascals put the cowgirl hats on (pee catchers)) and I took their pics. Peggy was all up for line dancing when she got a painkiller. Mad as a hatter. Where would we be with out each other to make little of trouble? I love you girls and I know we will keep in touch.

The last day of the Ulsterbus Tour was a pick up at the hotel and a visit to the Titanic Exhibition. I was still in hospital. No probs. The funny thing ... There's always a funny side. I was in Antrim. My luggage was in Belfast with my car keys and my car was at Ballymoney Station. What a carry on.

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